There is no such thing as free lunch

You ever notice just how popular this little phrase is in the vernacular of today's world? Sure, it's not as used anymore as "True 'dat!" or "Hella (insert whatever word here)" but it is still said by a lot of people. Which brings me to the point of this post. In my line of work, it is not uncommon for people to ask you to do things essentially, for free. You can call it a sample, a mock up, a comp, a spec ad, whatever, but as my grandpa used to say, putting lipstick on a pig STILL makes it a pig. I think if people were to step back and take a look at what they are actually asking you to do when they couch their request with one of the above little phrases is, in fact, work for free, they might not ask for it as frequently. I don't know any other business where this is accepted or done as much as this one.

I look at it (and explain it to others) this way. When you are getting your taxes done, do you go to 4 accountants, ask them to itemize your deductions, and then only decide to go with (and pay) the one who saves you the most money? Do you go get the oil changed on your car and then say "OK, that took longer than 15 minutes so I'm going to drive away without paying you." No. You wouldn't do either of these things. But asking an artist to do a spec ad which they are not being paid for is doing exactly this, just worded differently.

I ALWAYS say no to specs, mock ups and other like requests. The only time I have ever done them is when I agree with the other party AHEAD of time that I will be paid for it (and many times I ask for that payment up front). Usually the fee is smaller than the project cost and I count those fees towards it if that work is used. Does this cause me to lose jobs sometimes? I'm sure it does. But a better question is...are these clients I REALLY want anyway? Somebody who would ask me to spend 3 hours on something and then not pay me for it? No. It's hard enough to chase people down for money as it is. And I've found this amazing factoid, too. The people who are in the hugest hurry, ask for unpaid "favors", add ons or mocks, are a real pain in your ass and call you 30 times a day are usually the slowest to pay when the bill comes, and the most likely to stiff you altogether because they found some idiot in Pakistan that will do the job for $1, leaving you no place to compete from.

The reason that spec requests exist are the same reason that floppy disc drives continued to be standard on a PC for so many years. Were people demanding them? Not exactly. The computer manufacturers were putting them out there. So the biggest enemy to spec work is actually not the clients asking for it. No. It is the artistic community themselves who continue to say yes and then do it. They are hurting themselves more than they are helping, and they probably do not realize it. Because honestly, if the person was going to give you a job they were likely going to do it (or not) anyway. If you want people to see what you can do, don't put yourself out there by offering to work for free. Get yourself a decent portfolio, Learn to talk the talk AND walk the walk. Then when people say "I'd like to see what you can do." you can point them to that portfolio.

Every day, I see ads and requests on message boards or Craig's List or wherever, asking for “artists” to help people with everything from auto graphics to comic books to corporate logo designs. Many people use the qualifier "To use in your portfolio so others can see what you can do." or something similar.

Let me ask these people this: Do you think it would be ok to ask your mechanic to work on your car for free? Would you look him in the eye, with a straight face, and tell him that his compensation would be the ability to have his work shown to others as you drive down the street?

Would you offer a neurosurgeon the “opportunity” to add your name to his resume as payment for removing that pesky tumor? (Maybe you could offer him “a few bucks” for “materials”. What a deal!)

Would you be able to seriously even CONSIDER offering your web hosting service the chance to have people see their work, by viewing your website, as their payment for hosting you?

If you answered “yes” to ANY of the above, you’re obviously insane. If you answered “no”, then kudos to you for living in the real world. Why then, would you think it is okay to live out the same, delusional, ridiculous fantasy when seeking someone whose abilities are in less in supply than these folks? Do you know what the comparitive ratio is for mechanics to graphic designers, or neurosurgeons to graphic designers, or even IT/web hosting people to graphic designers? I don't know any exact numbers, but I've read in more than one reputable source that there are far less graphic art professionals than either of these 3 above mentioned trades. (and there are, I'm sure a lot less GOOD graphic designers, but that's another matter...)
Graphic artists, illustrators, painters, etc., are skilled tradesmen. As such, to consider them as, or deal with them as, anything less than professionals fully deserving of your respect is both insulting and a bad reflection on you as a sane, reasonable person. In short, it makes you look like a twit.

A few things that I think those free and cheap seekers need to know:

1. It is not a “great opportunity” for an artist to have his work seen on your car/’zine/website/bedroom wall, etc. It IS a “great opportunity” for YOU to have their work there.
2. It is not clever to seek a “student” or “beginner” in an attempt to get work for free. It’s ignorant and insulting. They may be “students”, but that does not mean they don’t deserve to be paid for their hard work. You were a “student” once, too. Would you have taken that job at McDonalds with no pay, because you were learning essential job skills for the real world? Yes, your proposition is JUST as stupid.
3. The chance to have their name on something that is going to be seen by other people, whether it’s one or one million, is NOT a valid enticement. Neither is the right to add that work to their “portfolio”. They get to do those things ANYWAY, after being paid as they should. It’s not compensation. It’s their right, and it’s a given.
4. Stop thinking that you’re giving them some great chance to work. Once they skip over your silly ad, as they should, the next ad is usually for someone who lives in the real world, and as such, will pay them. There are far more jobs needing these skills than there are people who possess these skills.
5. Students DO need “experience”. But they do NOT need to get it by giving their work away. In fact, this does not even offer them the experience they need. Anyone who will not/can not pay them is obviously the type of person or business they should be ashamed to have on their resume anyway. Do you think professional contractors list the “experience” they got while nailing down a loose step at their grandmother’s house when they were seventeen?
If you your company or gig was worth listing as desired experience, it would be able to pay for the services it received. The only experience they will get doing free work for you is a lesson learned in what kinds of scrubs they should not lower themselves to deal with.
6. (This one is FOR the artists out there, please pay attention.) Some will ask you to “submit work for consideration”. They may even be posing as some sort of “contest”. These are almost always scams. They will take the work submitted by many artists seeking to win the “contest”, or be “chosen” for the gig, and find what they like most. They will then usually have someone who works for them, or someone who works incredibly cheap because they have no originality or talent of their own, reproduce that same work, or even just make slight modifications to it, and claim it as their own. You will NOT be paid, you will NOT win the contest. The only people who win, here, are the underhanded folks who run these ads. This is speculative, or “spec”, work. It’s risky at best, and a complete scam at worst. I urge you to avoid it, completely.

So to artists/designers/illustrators looking for work, do everyone a favor, ESPECIALLY yourselves, and avoid people who do not intend to pay you. Whether they are “spec” gigs, or just some guy who wants a free mural on his living room walls. They need you. You do NOT need them.

And for those who are looking for someone to do work for free… please wake up and join the real world.

OK, off the soapbox now and going to bed. Fight the power! (I don't know, sounded like a good closer)

Defining a Design...and a Designer

We currently have an opening in the design department that we are trying desparately to fill, but yet...despite many resumes received, we have yet to find the perfect person. You wouldn't think that this would be a difficult task, right? After all, the market is saturated with graphic designers and those who play them on TV, any of which would be suitable for the position we are hiring for. Ideally we'd like to find someone experienced who can design AND think on their feet, and who doesn't live in the fantasy world that they are going to make a 6 figure salary walking in the door. (For anyone still in school who might be reading this...STOP LISTENING TO THE CAREER SERVICES people. These jobs do not exist for people with no experience in this business)

If you're not that experienced but can demonstrate creativity, then we have a spot for you too. With just a little rearranging, we can find you a job anyway, as long as you are willing to learn.

Don't we sound like reasonable people? But...read on.

This past week, I've sat down and spoken with a few people called in for interviews. This is the 3rd time in about 5 months that we've had to do this. We've had terrible luck finding someone sane and normal...well, ok maybe just someone who will show up is a better way to put it. During these slew of interviews, we've had some people come in who remotely qualified but wanted a ridiculous amount of money, and then others who apparently got lost on the way to their Taco Bell interview and ended up at my office. Let me just say this. We offer a very nice wage for the area we are in when you walk in the door. It's commensurate with experience of course, but it's still more than MOST jobs in the Bay area pay walking in the door. Unless of course you are going for a management position, which this is not.

The people who wanted more money generally had the chops, but I saw nothing that made me stand up and go WOW...please start tomorrow! The people who were less than stellar were OK money wise, but some had never even used the programs we do. It's not like we're using some strange Afgani photo editing software here, folks...we're talking Illustrator, Photoshop, InDesign. All industry standard programs which anyone who calls themselves a "designer" should know how to use....even 2 out of 3 would be acceptable since there are still a lot of Quark people out there.

Can you see why this is a frustrating process? Why is that people think they can just run over to Office Depot on Friday night and buy Photoshop Elements, take some pictures of their cat and superimpose it on a horse, run some ugly ass filters and then by Monday call themselves a graphic designer???

You might think I'm kidding. I'm absolutely not.

Why is it that with graphic design chops there always has to have some kind of huge ego trip attached. This has to be the only industry where "I am better than you" is said more than any other. Don't get me wrong, I'm an aesthetic snob too. I'm definitely the first to laugh at the flyer with clip art and Comic Sans all over it. But...I'm a little humble too. I'm not the world's most amazing designer. I like to think I'm good at what I do, but I solely base that on what other people tell me. (not just my family and friends) "Good" is subjective, and gauging your own ability to be "good" usually doesn't give you a very accurate or unbiased opinion.

I believe that creativity can be seen even in the most mundane items. If you are creative, but yet all you do is ugly car ads, your creativity will still shine through the inherent ugliness. I've seen some completely crappy ads before make me say to myself "Wow, there isn't a person on earth with eyes that can possibly think this looks good!" and yet I'll spot something in there...a little something that shows that the person making it tried the best they could with the parameters they had. Sometimes it takes even more creativity to make something ugly in order to please the client than to just design something aesthetically pleasing. After all, when you are talking about graphic design for a business etc. the most important element has to be...no, not "Does it look good?" but "Does it WORK?" You can have the most amazing idea and design in the world, but if it's executed poorly or it doesn't work, it's NOT GOOD. It doesn't serve it's purpose. That makes it art for art's sake, and though we certainly need that...it's not really a good position to find yourself in when you are creating for an advertising campaign or the like.

This is, I believe the main problem that people who are super creative and "artsy fartsy" have when they get jobs in the commercial art field. They want to make everything beautiful and fancy schmancy and....STOP. Right there. You get what I'm trying to say here. These are the people that will spend 4 hours creating one simple ad which had a simple message. They will disregard what the client wants or ask for and do what they think "looks good". More times than not, this approach backfires. You then find yourself dealing with a temper tantrum when they are asked to make changes or told to do it over. Why? Granted, sometimes you have to take creative chances. I do it all the time. But other times, a brochure for a septic tank company? It is what it is. You can simply do the best you can with what you have. The MC Escher look isn't going to work here, so why try to force it on the client? (I'm just using this as an example) So make it functional. It may not win any art awards, but it's going to make the client happy. And happy clients pay their bills.

Now next week we will continue the search. More portfolios to look at, more people talking about how great they are. At least it amuses me. :)

Hoppy Easter and all that jazz

Today's the day. That's right...the day that as the close of business comes to your friendly neighborhood Walgreens/CVS, the Easter candy goes on clearance. The only thing better than Peeps and Cadbury Mini Eggs are both of those items at half price. Yesssss. By the end of next week, they will be darn near giving the things away. Sadly by then the only thing usually left are those bunny-shaped confections that somewhat resemble circus peanuts...and probably taste like them. (I've not been brave enough to try them). But hey, for someone's cheap sugar rush, they'll do.

At a family dinner recently we were discussing the upcoming Easter holiday and where exactly the tradition of the Easter bunny, eggs and all the trappings came from. No one seemed to have a good answer.

So today, I decided to search the "internets" for some info, and I went to the source where I find many of my facts.

Yes, I looked it up on Wikipedia.

In case anyone wants to read up on the Easter Bunny, they've got a great article on it as well as many of the other Easter traditions.

The long and the short of it is that, like many of the holiday rituals we celebrate, the tradition of rabbits, eggs, etc. came from the Pagans. The time of the year of Jesus's crucifiction/resurrection happens to coincide with the Vernal Equinox, so somehow throughout the course of time the two items got melded together.

The issue of eggs, which were once considered sacred (since all life begins from an egg) are perhaps the only Easter tradition that actually has a religious origin. The egg tradition in the Spring dates all the way back to ancient Greece, though it was the Catholics who ritualized it very early on in the genesis of the faith. They then associated it with Easter, and first began the tradition of coloring them way back in the 17th-18th century.

Ironically enough, eggs were-and to those more dogmatic still are-forbidden foods during the fasting period of Lent. That came in seemingly pretty handy, leaving plenty of eggs to color.

In the words of the immortal Homer Simpson, "God bless those Pagans."

Happy Easter!

Tragic Wand? Eh?

What is a tragic wand you ask, and why the devil would you name your blog after one?

Allow me to explain. And introduce myself.

I am a graphic designer by trade. Or if you prefer, a commercial artist. Or a graphic artist. Or someone who draws funny pictures all day long AND gets paid for it. Call me whichever you prefer, so long as you don't forget to call me when I can come pick up my check. :)

I love what I do. Partially because I truly enjoy creating. or watching something I dreamed up while sitting in traffic get put in motion to make somebody a lot of money. I clicked some keys and cut a turtle out of a picture in Photoshop, and suddenly someone's sales go through the roof for the week. It gives you a sense of accomplishment that's hard to put into words.

Most people do not understand the less than glamourous part of this job. (Well, most of it is actually non-glamourous, but shh! Don't let that get out!) The common man/woman has no idea that putting together a piece of successful advertising takes more than running over to Office Depot, buying a copy of Photoshop Elements, throwing some words on a page and printing it on your LaserJet. It takes skill to operate the software (and do it correctly), it takes creativity and talent, and it takes patience. On a good day, I am in control of 2 of those 3 postulates. Or at least I like to think so.

It is this skill in operating the software that stops you from selecting part of an image and "erasing" it, only to find you have removed someone's limb in the process.

It is creativity and talent that tells you "Hey, should I really typeset this brochure in Comic Sans bold at 20 points?" (The answer is NO NO NO, by the way.

And it is patience that keeps you from taking a bag, farting in it, and mailing it to the customer you are on the phone with for 40 minutes now, discussing the finer points of whether or not you should italize her name on a business card.

That brings me to the other part of why I think my job is one of the best in the world.

Design work is funny. Especially bad design. And it's everywhere. Yay! When I say bad design, I mean something so utterly hideous that even people who are not design oriented (read: aesthetic snobs) say "Wow, that looks like poopie."

I've seen more than my fair share of bad design. Maybe it's because I am looking for it all the time. But regardless, some of the most heinous graphic offenses I have seen have been the byproduct of the "Magic Wand" tool in Photoshop.

Basically, it is just a tool sitting one row down on the right in your Photoshop palette. It is supposed to help you remove things from the background with ease. Problem is...it doesn't always work that way, and more often than not, this otherwise innocent tool is responsible for cutting off Aunt Mildred's left arm in the family photo, because you were selecting white and her arm is also white. Or, you are selecting a diamond ring in a photo to put elsewhere and accidentally grabbed part of the diamond, decreasing it's size or shape, etc and now it looks like a tooth with a cavity.

See why it's referred to as the "tragic wand"? This Photoshop tool has, I'm willing to bet, dismembered more people and ruined more jewelry pictures than should really be mentioned. And when you do that much damage, you definitely need a blog named after you.

So if you are reading this thinking that the tragic wand refers to something goth related, I'm sad to report that is not correct. You won't find that here. But you will find my random musing about advertising, graphics, and anything else that strikes my fancy. Enjoy!