A Life Full of Lessons

Hello friends and readers. It's been quite a while since I have had the opportunity to blog. Not that I haven't had plenty to say, but if you know me, you know that I do nothing half way. Thus, everytime I sit down to write, I intend on writing a lot. But time gets the best of me and I get back to working, sometimes not being able to pick up where I left off. But today...I decided that I needed to make time.

Yesterday, I celebrated my 35th birthday. I remember being a kid and thinking that 35 was so old it was almost dead, and it was funny then. It's not so funny now, I have to say. As I sat at my birthday dinner, in the company of my beloved better half, son and other assorted family members, I had a moment. One of those moments where nobody is talking or eating yet, and it's just quiet. I thought quickly about other "milestone" birthdays. 35 is not a milestone, per se, or at least not according to some people. To me, though...it is. See, since I was just a kid, I had this strange notion that I was not going to live past 34. I blame this on the nuns I had as teachers in school. I'm not sure exactly why, but they do make a handy dandy excuse for most of my life's dysfunctions.

But, I digress. I thought first of my 30th birthday. The first thing I noticed was that I was still surrounded by the same exact people sitting at this table today. My son was little then...not even a year old. We went to an Italian restaurant which is no longer in business around here. Sad, because it really had a quirky charm that reminded me a lot of the gaudy Italian places in my home town. The difference was that THOSE gaudy Italian restaurants were usually owned and operated by actual Italians - while this place was managed and run by mostly college students. (This restaurant was a chain.) While we were at the restaurant, we sat a table that had a giant picture of Frank Sinatra on the wall. (Really...did you expect anything else?) As scary as that larger than life picture of Frank was, it still brought a smile to my face as I recalled my grandmother, possibly Frank's biggest fan ever. She had a very similar picture of Frank in the living room until the day she died (which was the year before my 30th birthday). Weird? Definitely. The first question out of most people's mouths when they came over was..."Are you related to Frank Sinatra???" I laughed almost every time.

Then I thought of my 25th birthday. That was a pretty crappy year for me...lots of changes in just about every aspect of my life, and not all of them were good. The same people were at that birthday table, minus son of course who was not even a thought yet. I don't remember where we ate or what we did, but I do remember thinking...wow...it has GOT to get better than this. And of course, it did.

Next up was my 21st birthday which was a lot less exciting than MOST people's 21st birthdays tend to be. Another not so good time in my life. I was living in a state that was still sort of foreign to me, I missed home and my friends, and I was hanging around with a vast array of people who I should have never bothered with. I went to a restaurant that night with a former friend and ordered a beer and waited to get carded. I didn't. That was kind of a bummer. Especially since most people who meet me in person seldom ever correctly guess my age and always think I'm younger. (I suppose that is something which will come in handy at some point.) That doesn't happen to me nearly as often as it used to. Could be all those gray hairs I keep finding.

Prior to that, 16. That was a good birthday for the most part. Well, except for the fact that I was in Cherbourg France on a school trip, it was freezing cold, and I had horrible laryngitis. As a bonus, I had a nasty cough too, which took me about 2 weeks to get rid of after I got back to the US. My friends at the time bought me a ladyfinger cake...which I had never seen before. What I remember the most about this birthday, aside from the later details, was that for the first time in my young life, I felt as though I knew who I was. Kind of a deep realization to make at that age, but I was one of those moody kids who considered myself an intellectual. Or "artsy". Or whatever the vogue term of the day was then. That evening after having a very deep and involved conversation with someone who was very close to me at the time, I made a master plan of what I wanted to do for the next ten years.

Most of those plans did not turn out as expected. Some did, but that was rare. Life got in the way and things changed...as it is for so many people. Regardless of that, one thing did remain a constant. I maintained that sense of self for many of the years since. Even when things got muddy and I lost my way, or when I found myself doing things that I never thought I would (in both a good and a bad context), I still was able to pull it all together somewhat and say HEY! This is not who I am. THIS is. OK, so sometimes it took me a couple of years to get to that point. There were a lot of detours. I ended up in the right neighborhood but not at the right house PLENTY of times. Somehow though, a little introspection and a lot of desire to change brought me back full circle. I recognize that more than ever right now.

And so, bring it back to the title of this post, this is the part of these journeys that I think are the most important. The lessons. You learn lessons everyday, whether you realize it or not. Some good, some bad. But you take something with you either way. Even the ones that hurt to learn are important - because so many of those make a person who they are today. At least in my case, I know it is definitely true.

Here are some lessons I've learned.

1. Compassion is such an important thing, and there are not nearly enough people in the world who practice it on a regular basis. For every time I hear "Oh, my heart goes out to so-and-so" I hear two different versions of "She had it coming. Snicker." How did we get here?? And more importantly, why? I will never understand why so many people take so much delight in the misfortune of others. Don't get me wrong. I understand the behavior itself. It's the reasons behind it that baffle me.

2. No bad deed goes unpunished. This is absolutely true. Even if you forgot about the wrong you did...there's someone out there who didn't and chances are, you will pay for it. Someway, somehow. You never know what kind of psychological scars your actions can leave on other people. That's the most dangerous part of this lesson.

3. Be nice. Smile often. It really does make people wonder what you are up to, and when they ask...tell them. Maybe you will make them smile too.

4. It costs you nothing to be nice. It can cost you everything to be a jackass. I have learned this lesson many times now and every so often, I need to remind myself of this so I do go and umm..."re-learn" it all over again.

Now, this logic may seem flawed to you. You say..."Well, being nice sometimes costs you something! What if you buy somebody a present? That's nice and it costs money. And what if they don't give you anything for it??"

If you are asking yourself this question, then stop reading now, because you aren't going to like anything else I have to say, either.

If you're still here, consider this. The law of the universe, or at least from what I have come to understand, says that when you do good, good will come onto you. Right? So...what is the price of good? Is it the $1 ice cream you bought for a child you found lost at the mall one day? Is it a present you bought for the crankiest person in your office despite the fact that they have never been nice to you, not even once? Is it taking your personal time and throwing it into a good cause, or to helping someone else who really needs help - whether it be just an ear to listen to actual physical help? Is it paying the toll of the person behind you on the freeway? Buying a cup of coffee for the person in the drive thru line at Starbucks, even though you don't know them ? Some of those things don't have much of a monetary value, and some don't have any at all. But the value that they do have is so much more important than money, isn't it? It builds up what I like to call your Karmic Credit Line. There will come a day when you are short on cash. And believe me, my friends...that Karmic Credit Line is going to come in really handy at that moment.

Imagine that you never did anything selfless for anyone in your entire life. You lived strictly for you and to hell with everyone else. Whenever an opportunity has arisen for you to do good for someone else, you pass on it. Your Karmic Credit Line is nil. Bankrupt. So what happens then? Maybe nothing. Maybe you make due until you die without ever needing to use it. Or maybe the day will come when you truly need that Credit and it's not available to you. It would feel pretty lonely, wouldn't it?

6. Grudges are useless. Hating people...? Also useless. Both of those things require you to DO something, don't they? Hating someone is a lot of work! So is holding a grudge, even one of those deep seated, dormant ones. It also takes one other tiny thing that most people don't realize is very important to the equation. It takes caring. Yes, caring. Actively hating someone requires thinking about them or obsessing about them - even if you are daydreaming about them being hit by a bus they are nonetheless on your mind. Forgetting they exist and moving on requires no effort from you whatsoever. You also save yourself a lot on acid reflux medication. See what I'm getting at here?

These are not the only lessons, not by far. Some day I will share the rest. But for now...something to think about.

Yeah, yeah...I know...

It's been a while since I've had the opportunity to blog. I've been so incredibly busy and nothing terribly inspiring (design related or otherwise) was striking me.

Here's what's new and exciting around these parts:

Numero uno and most important: I am finally working from home 100% full time. Yippee! I've been wanting to make this move for a while now so finally, I did it. It's been almost a month. Do I like it? Yes. Do I miss being in an office environment? No. Well, mostly no.

I'll explain what I mean by "mostly no"

I sometimes miss the stimulating conversations such as "Did you see So and So's outfit today? Gross!" and "Damn it, why are the paychecks never here on time. Whine, whine." Let's not forget the ever popular..."I don't want to do this. Can you??" or "Will you get me something from Starbucks when you go?" Note: the last comment should be accompanied by an onslaught of at least 10 people, orders in hand on a sticky note, ready to pass to you.

OK, I'm kidding. I really don't miss that. I do miss the positive stimulating conversations. I liked the majority of the people I worked with 99% of the time. Interacting with them I DO miss. But I don't miss the commute, the time investment each day, or the random bullshit office politics. (Oh come on. They exist in EVERY office. My office had an amazing amount, which I always found rather ironic since it was supposed to be a "no tolerance" subject. Yeh. K.)

I get an amazing amount of work done everyday and most of the time, I go to bed with a sense of accomplishment. Hell, I'm even starting to keep up with my monster amounts of email. (Ever try to answer over 200 messages a day in a coherent fashion and not just a Y or N answer?? Take a LOT of time!)

So it's been a resounding positive change. There are other fringe benefits, too:

I've caught up on a lot of podcasts that I couldn't listen to at the office. (They weren't allowed, and even when they were, I couldn't ever finish one without 10 interuptions) I've also discovered the joys of watching TV on the internet instead of buying shows I like in the iTunes music store. Which would really bug me when the show I just paid $1.99 for sucked.

I save an enormous amount of money on gas/lunch out every single day. Almost $200 a week. (No, seriously!)

I can come and go as I please. (That in itself is the one of the most important benefits)

Oh, there are so many more. I could go on and on.

Don't worry. I won't.

So now I am almost to the point where I feel caught up (whatever that means) on my workload and can handle what I have. (Most days. An assistant is in my near future...) My focus will then turn to new business: where to find it, how to find it and what to do with it once I have it.

I have a marketing plan that's viable, experience that I want to put to use making money, and plans to pursue my passion. Now all I need to do is go out and do it.

From here on out, I am probably going to keep this blog design related. I will be starting a new one however (I already have it parked...just need to start filling it up) which I will use to deposit my offtopic ramblings. I'll keep you all posted on where it is and what it's about shortly.

Until then, get in where you fit it and all those other figures of speech you hear, sometimes at the wrong time...

Show don't tell, and other good advice

I haven't blogged in...geezum...forever. Busy, busy, busy! Such is the glamorous life of a graphic designer. Oh wait. It's glamorous? Ha...I missed that memo.

I was having a conversation today with a colleague about what is better..."direct response" advertising, or more conceptual stuff, and what I prefer. He's a firm believer that the most effective ads are the type with a call to action which is obvious (Like "Call Today" et al).

I disagree. I think an ad which is WELL DONE is the most effective type of ad. Period. I've seen excellent ads with calls to action, and I've seen, dare I say, even better ads which are intended to inform but compel to buy.

Apple Computer. Nike. Geico. AFLAC. Coca Cola. Target. Volkswagen. All very successful brands. Think about the last time any of these people came out and told you "Buy a Coke today!"

Uh huh. So why are they successful anyway? Because they don't have to ask you to buy the product flat out. They create the want - the fundamental part of why you buy something anyway - without asking.

Case in point: Apple Computer. How much money do you think it cost Chiat/Day (the agency that produced the spots I'm about to mention) to produce those black silhouette, dancing iPod people commercials? Probably not much. All stuff that can be done on a computer with the right software. Or heck, if you are using actual people dancing it is still not a zillion dollar endeavor. And if you have ever sat there and dissected one of these, you'll see..these are a lot simpler spots than you realize. All it says is, with some uber-trendy music playing as the silhouette is dancing in the background: iPod. iTunes. Now for Windows. www.apple.com

That's it. Do they need to tell you where to find one, or how much it costs? Nah. The people this type of commercial appeals to already knows where to buy one. They may already own one. And if they don't...they likely will soon because iPods are cool and trendy and sexy and all those things that we all secretly wish we were.

The rule of Simple = Good definitely applies here.

They did the same basic thing with the iPhone, except no dancing silhouettes. They showed the phone (clever!) because the device sells itself, and it shows a guy watching a movie, getting a craving for pizza in the middle of it...he looks up the pizza place, calls and orders, goes back to the movie. All of these are things you can do on your phone in a matter of moments. How appealing is that-the art of multitasking-to today's busy urbanite/professional/tech geek? Very. And honestly...at this point in the product's launch...who is buying these phones? 68 year old grandmothers of 5? Err...no. It is THIS demographic.

So what does this have to do with the price of pizza? The title of the post: show, don't tell. Telling readers why your product is great is never better than showing them. I could spend all day explaining to you how great my vacuum cleaner is. It does this, or that blah blah BLAH BLAH. I'm starting to sound like the mysterious adults on the Peanuts cartoons. =) But...if I take that vacuum and suck the spots off a dalmatian, or all the water out of a fish bowl...do you sit up and take notice?

You bet your sweet patoot you do. Not only does this show the person how amazing the product is, it lets them come to their own conclusions. People eat that stuff up.

So what is a better way to demonstrate how cool a new jet ski is? Put the same old tired cliche of a happy smiling ultra white family waving on the beach as they ride around on one? Or perhaps use a visual I saw once in an ad for Polaris...which I thought was so darn clever that I remember it to this day, even though it's been at least 6 years since I saw this. It was a hippo. A hippo who was obviously sitting on the jet ski. All you saw was the ski parts...which would normally be in the water. The tag line was understated...at the bottom of the ad. So you had no choice but to look at that hippo. I think it said something about one of the features of the engine being great towing power. So you can draw your conclusion there. Another simple = good example.

Simple? But advertising costs oodles of money and...we should feature all the reasons why we are cooler/better/more trendy/sexier and so on. You can still do that and be simple. You just have to find a creative way to do it.

Have you ever heard of Occam's Razor? It states: "What can be accounted for by fewer assumptions is explained in vain by more."

So basically...he was saying: Simple = good. =)

So why does simple = good?

It's hard to miss. It's bigger (Less is more. It really is!). It's more believable, it's easier to remember. It breaks through advertising clutter and nonsense. And about 1,000 other reasons.

I think I'll take my own advice and "simply" end this post with that food for thought...

This was the week it was...

A week. Seven days. Doesn't seem like a whole lot of time but when you think about it in the grand scheme of things...a lot can happen! (What the heck, a lot can happen in a day!)

This past week I have been on "vacation" from my regular full time job. There was a rhyme and a reason for this vacation...I had a number of things I needed to get accomplished, and truth be told - I needed a break. Things have been very stressful there for the last couple of months and when I came to the realization that I just past my five year mark and had yet to have taken an entire week away from the office...I decided that the time was now. Plus at the end of the week I had planned to have two wisdom teeth removed and knowing myself the way I do, I knew I'd be out of it for a couple of days. In preparation for that, I needed to get my proverbial ducks in a row prior to that or I would never be able to relax enough to get better.

So I planned a week of catching up on loose ends, cleaning up miscellaneous projects, getting my surgery and then maybe relaxing.

Ha. Here it is, Sunday, eve of my return to work tomorrow morning and I'm doing a quick assessment of where I stand.

Stuff that happened this week:

Painted my kitchen red. (Well...I personally didn't do it. But I suffered through the fumes as someone else did)
Wrapped up with 4-5 old projects that were hanging on
Billed out a lot of work and received a lot of payment (YAY!)
Got 3 new LARGE clients that are going to be big money makers. Definitely a case of being at the right place at the right time
Met with a client in the middle of day without having to rush or fight rush hour traffic
Redesigned my website. Part of it is already live. I've been planning to do that for a LONG time!
Redesigned my logo and ordered new business cards. Another thing that needed to be done!
Got those pesky wisdom teeth pulled. Ouch. Those people who said that it doesn't hurt are LIARS.
Watched half a season of X-Files (I forgot how much I enjoyed that show)
Designed 4 logos
Made a very cool 80s playlist on iTunes, for when I'm feeling retro
Thumbed through several old PRINT annuals. Wow. The 90s sure did produce some interesting work
Found 2 books on Amazon I'd been looking for for YEARS, and they were both under $1!
Bought another Art Director's Annual on eBay for under $10, shipped
Had lunch with my significant other at an awesome Chinese buffet that is way overpriced for dinner (but priced ok for lunch)
Watched The Shawshank Redemption in one sitting
Went out in public with an icepack on my face
Cleaned up a little in my home studio, mostly put away stuff I wasn't using
Listened to a LOT of kids' daytime TV from the other room
Designed 3 huge banners with horses on them for a client
Sat in bed, very late at night and wrote bio info for my website
Relaxed for half a day, because damn it, I deserve it

There's more of course, but those are the highlights. It's going to be a tough sell to return to work tomorrow. Not to mention that I'm still sore and in pain from the teeth thing. Huh. Freelancing full time seemed like such a crazy idea before but today, right now...it seems like such an attractive option. And it's even a viable one.

I'll have to think on this...

NOW how much would you pay?

How much do you think you are worth? Seriously! I ask myself this question a lot, not because I'm trying to be philosophical but because I am in a business where I charge a rate for my services. Sometimes I charge more, sometimes less, but always an amount I feel is fair for the work I am doing. Just like I won't take a job designing a 12 page catalog for $25 (Don't laugh...this has happened!), I also won't turn around and charge someone $300 to design a one page flyer that took me an hour to produce. One of the reasons why I end up with customers use me time and time again is that I treat everyone fairly, don't rip people off, and provide them a quality design that they (and I) can be proud of. Or at least that's the goal. Could I make more if I charged more? Maybe. But thus far, I've been very fortunate, and in the year that I have been making a serious, true blue effort to find more freelance clients, I've amassed quite a nice base of "regular" customers and generated a lot of referrals and other work based on word of mouth. I'm always so flattered when someone emails me and says "Hey, my friend so and so says you do nice work, etc and I should call you..." So starting from basically nothing, I would say whatever I am doing must be right.

It's times like these when I think...after almost 10 years of doing graphics and working for other people, making THEM money...why the hell didn't get up off my tookus sooner and get some more of my OWN clients? Hmm. Not sure. Working a full time job in addition to freelancing takes a lot out of you. I should know...I do it every single day. I suppose all that matters now is that I'm doing it...and doing it well.

But I digress. The purpose of this post was actually something different. I read a lot of blogs and message boards every day...some design related, some not. About a week ago, I was reading a message board at a very well known design publication's web site. There was a discussion going on about rates and cheap clients who only want to pay $50 for a logo design. I think everyone pretty much agreed that this is not the kind of client you want, because honestly...that's not a fair price for something that takes as much work and thought as a logo. But someone brought up a very valid point here and they got sort of flamed for it...and I hated to admit it, but I though they were right. The point was this: one person brought up that a fee or rate might depend on the level of experience of the designer doing the work, and did people think it was really fair for someone who is just out of school with no real experience to demand $300 for a logo design and get mad when the client didn't want to pay that. One person chimed in that they felt that YES, that student should get that rate, and several others agreed, one even being sort of nasty to the person who had asked. I didn't comment, just lurked.

I hate to say it...that person who thinks $300 for a student's work is too much...has a valid point. The truth is, when you are first starting out...your lack of experience can put you at a serious disadvantage from someone who has been there, done that and designed a t-shirt for it. I can't tell you how many times I've seen work done for my clients by designers of all kinds or even some big agencies which screams AMATEUR. Sloppy work, work that isn't formatted for printing, complicated "design" elements that interfere with the client's message...I've seen it all.

I'm sorry but if you are just out of school and have never prepped a job for print, I'm willing to bet you are going to make mistakes. I know I certainly made my share. You can be the best student in your class, but there is no degree hanging on the wall that can take the place of real, in the trenches experience. Does this mean you don't deserve to get paid? Of course not. But how large is your ego really that you think you can charge an outrageous amount of money for your work, when you know that's not really what it's worth? You might get the client this time, but you can bet that person won't return to you for future jobs. Nobody wants to feel taken advantage of. Charging unrealistic rates only makes the price of someone with reality check look all the better. And let's face it...I know how long it takes to design a piece of advertising, or a logo, or a brochure. I base my rate on that. If you are slow and it takes you 6 hours to do these, then you need to learn to work faster. Don't punish your client for that. It will only come back to haunt you in the end.

On the flip side of that arguement, I don't think that anybody, student or not, should get paid $50 for a logo design. When you are hiring someone to do a creative job for you (non designers...I'm talking to you) then demand to see a portfolio. Even someone who is a savant can tell you that in simple terms, something looks good or it doesn't. Plain and simple. You can tell if a person is creative or not by looking at their work. Even if you claim to "know nothing about art or advertising" or "Don't know what good design looks like". You do. You just don't realize it yet.

Don't insult someone by offering them what even you know is a bargain basement rate. If you they are charging you what you feel is too much, do a little cost comparison. That ought to give you a guideline on what the service you are looking to have done should cost. Be willing to work with people on the rate - designers this means you too. Employers: most people will negotiate because they would rather have the job for $20 less than planned in contrast to not having the job at all.

See what a simple world this would be if people would just listen to me? :) I'm totally kidding...but somewhere deep inside, overpriced designer who might be reading this...you know I have a point.

OK off the soap box now. Happy 4th of July everybody!

iPhone, You Phone, We...Phone

With apologies to the creators of the fine 80's cult film, Better Off Dead, of course. (If you've seen the film, you know where I borrowed this take off from...if you haven't seen it then darn it, you need to!)

Yes, I am just like every other Mac geek and am desperately in need of an iPhone. I plan on getting one soon, but I flat out refused to stand on a line or camp out at the Apple store. I know that once it's been a couple of weeks since it's been out, the furor will die down and I can walk in a store calmly and purchase one. Another thing I know, being a devout Apple loyalist, is that it will likely go down in price as well, as do all of their new buzz products in time. Not being cheap here folks...I dropped $300 for my last phone and $450 for a phone for my significant other not that long ago. I just look at it the same way as I looked at the iPod. When those first came out back in 2001, I said to myself..."Who in their right mind would pay $500 for a little box you can play a couple hundred songs on???"

Then I got one. Now, on my third iPod (currently using the 20 GB video, black) I don't know how I ever lived without one. If I forget my iPod on the way somewhere, I will more times than not go back for it. Sick huh?

That's the one thing I fear about the iPhone. Even MORE ways to find me, email me, Twitter me, IM me. Great. As if I don't enjoy enough interuptions. :)

I'll still buy one, of course. Because I depend on my electronic leash just as much as everyone else, and who doesn't want to have the nicest leash at the dog park? Of course...you do!

People often laugh when I call my cell phone an electronic leash. Granted I own a super sleek RAZR so it's not obtrusive, but...still a leash nonetheless. Because I'll be damned if everytime I step into the bathroom, my phone is ringing before I'm doing doing my business. It's just the way it always seems to work out. Soon people will interupt me on a cooler device, and after I'm done listening to them gab on, I'll be able to check email and my horoscope, all while in the stall. Marvelous!

The other day my significant other and I were having a conversation and we both wondered....what DID we do before the Internet? iPod? And soon...iPhone???

Remember the good old days, everyone? When you had to hope someone was home in order to call them? When you needed to talk instead of just send a text, IM or email? Or God forbid, actually go to their house to see something instead of GoToMeeting or look on their web cam? When you actually had to use a STAMP and WRITE a letter to someone? Holy hell! How DID we do it?

The times they are a changin'. So sayeth Bob Dylan, anyway.

You can't be me, I'm a rock star...

Earlier today I was fondly recalling being a child and all the times that I sat with my cousin Helen, who is also a graphic designer, and watched her do her "art". I loved pencils, pens, glue..all of which she had ample supply of in her home studio. She's about 10 years older than me but when you're a kid, 10 years can seem like a million. She was the first person in this neck of the family to graduate from college, which I thought was super cool...even though a lot of people dismissed her degree because it was achieved from a school with the word "Design" in it's name. (I grew up in NJ, she lived in Queens, NY so with a little detective work you can probably figure out which school I'm talking about.) Helen had so many cool things around her at any time...lots of hot/cold press boards, Xactos, cool "target" stickers (registration marks in a box, as I later came to know them) The days in particular I was reflecting on today were the times where I would watch her do ad mock ups or spec stuff, either for her portfolio or as take home work from the ad agency she had just landed a job at. I thought her job was the most glamorous in the world.

Now, twentysomeodd (mumbled under breath) years later, I look back and say...glamorous is not really what I would call this line of work after having done it. It is rewarding work, don't get me wrong...but it can be tedious, frustrating, and sometimes downright annoying and at times, thankless. I don't know about anyone else, but I feel as though my phone never stops ringing, and deadlines stop for nothing and noone. I've gotten called on holidays, evenings...I even had one guy call me at 1:00am once asking if I would design him some business cards. OK, so he's in the Pacific time zone and I'm in the Eastern, so I forgave him, but I did charge him more. =) Anyway, I digress. I sometimes feel like a surgeon...constantly on call, constantly putting off personal things to better service my clients. Sure, "emergency" projects like that pay well most of the time. I make a very comfortable living and though I'm not rich or anything remotely close, I have a better living situation than a lot of people I know, and I'm very, very fortunate indeed. Sometimes you wonder...how much is it worth, sacrificing your time? But I look at it this way. If I can do one project in a few hours and the sum I'm paid equals or supercedes my monthly mortgage payment (which is over $1,000 currently) then...it's worth it. How well I'm doing financially is always gauged against how quickly I have made the mortgage money. If it's the 8th of the month and I'm sitting on more than half, then SCORE. It's gonna be a good month. (I use the mortgage as a gauge because in my good fortune, it is the only truly major bill over $500 that I pay in a month)

Sometimes, admittedly, the lack of sleep, constant difficult deadlines and the stress of "Can I realistically crop 1,000 pictures in a day, even for a huge sum of money???" can make me a very, very cranky person sometimes. When I find myself saying "Why oh WHY did I not listen to my father and be an architect? Or a freakin' English teacher, like I dreamed about for so many years???" then I know...it's time to take a break. Time for that 2nd (or 3rd) latte, and yes Starbucks is within biking distance of my home office. Another Red Bull? Sure. Looks like an all-nighter. Gee, that new Diet Pepsi Max looks interesting...I wonder how much caffeine is in it??

So all of this somewhat whiney diatribe begs the question: why do it? Well, it's simple. I love to create. Nothing, and I mean nothing beats the feeling of seeing your work out in the public domain and people saying...WOW! I still get those pangs of excitement when I get a phone call from someone who has their proof in hand and they love it. I feel like a rock star. I've had a lot of those days. Those are the days I think about when I get that one pain in the ass that I just can't make happy. Those are definite candidates for my fart in a bag program. :)

Speaking of rock stars...back to work. I have some clients to impress. (Hopefully!)